Solid walls create a soundbox. I am a bat and can feel the size of the room by the reverberations of the voices of the two tiny, cutesy women chatting. I wish I could go invisible. In this moment, the desire is without nefarious intentions. It is merely that I would rather not be factored in to my fellow humans' considerations.
Now that I am an adult, I better understand prefering to be a Spectator. Watching in place of doing. Televisions allow us to be invisible to the doers; but they know we are there and are performing for our benefit. Atheletes, actors... Lassie is the only one who rings true, and he was only in it for the biscuits.
Let's all be in it for the biscuits.
If we are really good, maybe we will balance them on our nose first.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Taking Personal Inventory
Moving, it seems, is both cleansing and stressful. As I begin to pack, and wax poetic, on the property that has become the basis for he who is now 'me' over the past twenty-three years, I am reminded of who I have been, who I never was, and that which I attempted to become.
The Person I Never Was and The Person I Tried to Be: Books that were purchased years ago and never opened, gifts I have received and never incorporated into my life, pictures of old friends and girlfriends stuffed into the nooks and crannies, more than a few unopened-yet-inscribed Bibles (strange the amount of people who give these as graduation gifts to atheists and agnostics - I'm sure they meant well), day-to-day calendars left un-flipped, a gently weeping/dust collecting guitar and amp, vacation souvenirs I never looked at after purchasing, and a plethora of other useless items that were never a part of who I ever became.
These collected/long forgotten items have reminded me of the waste that is accumulated, and the money that went out the window to collect such waste. In my new life in the American South I hope to collect fewer items, expunge any waste that seeps through the cracks, and use my time to refine who I actually am, thereby not waltzing with any new versions of "The Person I Never Was and the Person I Tried to Be".
-Thanks, Management.
The Birthday Paradigm
Following the theme of having no theme at all, I thought I'd write a bit on the phenomenon of designating days for the celebration and exaltation of certain causes. It's my birthday today, so it seems fitting to take a moment and dictate some thoughts. Here are my top three birthday observations:
1. Self-indulgence, like all things, should be observed in moderation. I think taking one day out of the year to celebrate one's self is still a considerably safe distance from narcissism.
2. My sense of humor continues to change. Currently, I would say my brand of chuckle resembles a blend of the naïve prepubescent schoolboy and the sardonic centenarian. I hope that not's too vague, or wierd.
*Trying to type life-altering shit can, in fact, be noted as a “proving task.” That said, while my musings are anecdotal at best, I strive to preserve these pithy encouragments. There's no guarantee that any of this content will affect you, but I can't account for the opposite.
3. This day, and everyday, I vow to champion the properties of life - and the good life, at that. There's something I can celebrate no matter the day.
-IE
1. Self-indulgence, like all things, should be observed in moderation. I think taking one day out of the year to celebrate one's self is still a considerably safe distance from narcissism.
2. My sense of humor continues to change. Currently, I would say my brand of chuckle resembles a blend of the naïve prepubescent schoolboy and the sardonic centenarian. I hope that not's too vague, or wierd.
*Trying to type life-altering shit can, in fact, be noted as a “proving task.” That said, while my musings are anecdotal at best, I strive to preserve these pithy encouragments. There's no guarantee that any of this content will affect you, but I can't account for the opposite.
3. This day, and everyday, I vow to champion the properties of life - and the good life, at that. There's something I can celebrate no matter the day.
-IE
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Say this aloud:
"I, am a valuable resource. An unconquerable mammoth with magnanimous moral make-up."
Ehh? Come on, you feel better. If not, at least you can laugh at yourself, or me.
-IE
Ehh? Come on, you feel better. If not, at least you can laugh at yourself, or me.
-IE
Wordplay
Seriously - I have no intention of writing in cryptic phrases, or nonsensical paradox - however, I still might.
Very frequently, I find myself trying to decipher whether I am enamored with a person, or merely in a situation; sometimes I have to consider if this infatuation is with a person in a particular situation. I imagine all three rest - at any given time - at about a 33% probability, so separating the charlatans from the confirmed culprit, can be quite the conundrum.
*Comforting tidbit: there are worse problems.
-IE
Very frequently, I find myself trying to decipher whether I am enamored with a person, or merely in a situation; sometimes I have to consider if this infatuation is with a person in a particular situation. I imagine all three rest - at any given time - at about a 33% probability, so separating the charlatans from the confirmed culprit, can be quite the conundrum.
*Comforting tidbit: there are worse problems.
-IE
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A new day
And a new lease on life.
I toured a teen crisis center today - a place for teens to come when they are subject to abuse, estrangement, or if they have left home voluntarily and can't find another home. It was pretty wild. I know sensory perception is the last we should rely on during experiences like these, but I couldn't help to focus on the smells; I touched everything; my eyes were scanning the rooms. It was a barricaded, educating, homeless teen house. They had case workers, therapists, and a teacher on staff. Their kitchen was the kind where massive amounts of the same types of cheap food are kept and eventually cooked, broiled, skewered - any way to reintroduce the same old ingredient. The basketball goal was broken; so was most of the furniture. By all accounts, this place was nasty, but I never stopped thinking that it was also invaluable. You see, the shelter is filled most nights. With stringent staffing requirements and procedural policy in place, they are only allowed to have a ratio of 6:1 teens to staff on at any time. The kids are kind - the staff is overworked - everyone - everyone - is thankful. For the staff - it's just another day at the office - things are hectic, personal, and professional - but the kids simply see things differently.
To say I was humbled is too much - I didn't feel arrogant or proud before - but something about seeing this whole institution propped up just to provide rubber mattresses and showers for people - real people - changed my perception. Perhaps a paradigm shift is from what I am reeling now.
-IE
I toured a teen crisis center today - a place for teens to come when they are subject to abuse, estrangement, or if they have left home voluntarily and can't find another home. It was pretty wild. I know sensory perception is the last we should rely on during experiences like these, but I couldn't help to focus on the smells; I touched everything; my eyes were scanning the rooms. It was a barricaded, educating, homeless teen house. They had case workers, therapists, and a teacher on staff. Their kitchen was the kind where massive amounts of the same types of cheap food are kept and eventually cooked, broiled, skewered - any way to reintroduce the same old ingredient. The basketball goal was broken; so was most of the furniture. By all accounts, this place was nasty, but I never stopped thinking that it was also invaluable. You see, the shelter is filled most nights. With stringent staffing requirements and procedural policy in place, they are only allowed to have a ratio of 6:1 teens to staff on at any time. The kids are kind - the staff is overworked - everyone - everyone - is thankful. For the staff - it's just another day at the office - things are hectic, personal, and professional - but the kids simply see things differently.
To say I was humbled is too much - I didn't feel arrogant or proud before - but something about seeing this whole institution propped up just to provide rubber mattresses and showers for people - real people - changed my perception. Perhaps a paradigm shift is from what I am reeling now.
-IE
Monday, May 25, 2009
And Now
For something to be so open-ended, it almost seems like we (hehe - we) have nothing to say. I do not want to sound cryptic or to portend for even a moment that meaningful and impacting ideas will be discussed and revealed here - (to be so young and to presume so much!) but merely to begin to stake a claim to a meager portion of the seemingly boundless land of webpinions. Obviously there are loads of folks perpetually revisiting the humblest of diaries dutifully drafted by online literati - but that is different. For most intents and purposes, this will remain a mundane contribution; one not likely to be found in the future chronicles of online kurmudgeoning. Void of vituperation - unless necessary, of course - we will seek to edify, enlighten, and endear ourselves (hehe - our) to that greater, better, sweeter, goodness.
-IE
-IE
Friday, May 8, 2009
First order of business
I move to change the lame moniker and mission statement of this inane blog. No vampiring please, only constructive criticism. Okay, go.
-IE
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